Why Over Giving Is The Kiss Of Death In Any Relationship

A lot of over-giving blocks have been coming up in my clients' readings lately so I thought it would be helpful to write a bit about it to hopefully prevent some of you from blocking yourselves! 

Over giving seems like a kind thing right? Almost like you'll get extra brownie points from the universe from it. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Those that over give do it from a good place but it actually does more harm than good not only to yourself but those you are over giving to. 

First of all we are here on Earth to experience ourselves and learn about ourselves through our circumstances and relationships all by hopefully using our purpose gifts. When we put ourselves last we are then right away off our intended path on earth and wasting precious earth time. 

Over giving is the kiss of death in relationships so be careful! People may think "I want to make sure I don't lose them so I'm going to go above and beyond to prove I'm worthy." But most actually like the chase and when it's too easy they get bored. Also unconsciously they realize "what is she/he covering up trying so hard." and it pushes them away when they usually don't even know why. 

If they aren't pushed away right away they start to expect that over giving and you will always end up depleted someday, it's not sustainable. They also lose respect for you even if it's not consciously.  And you will start to resent them for not giving as much.

And then the people around you will actually get mad at you when you try to take care of you and stop that pattern. They get mad because they think that was your true self (the over giving) and when you stop it you become the bad guy. 

You are the one changing things up and at some level lying to them and yourself that you could keep it up. This over giving can be in many ways physically, emotionally, mentally, monetarily etc. so keep that in mind. 

Over giving also makes you start attracting narcissists or takers and becomes a vicious cycle. Over giving can stem from insecurities and not feeling good enough in some way so you over give to compensate and make them like you. But you are amazing just as you are and over giving is actually one of the quickest ways to end any relationship. 

I'm not saying not to give, just focus on it being equal give and take. If they aren't giving at all don't you start over giving hoping that will change. If they aren't giving on their end maybe see that as they aren't right for you right now and cut it off. 

Don't let insecurities come out unconsciously and say "they aren't giving because I'm not good enough, let me give more to change that." Remember you are more than good enough for the right person and there's no need to waste time proving that to the wrong person.

Over giving goes against healthy boundaries and just begs to be walked all over. It's ironic because we think we are doing everything to make them happy but it actually does the opposite. 

So be sure you are taking care of yourself first and then you can give from that place. Giving from depletion causes everyone issues. That's how enabling starts and then they become dependent and it stops their growth to learn to do it on their own. 

So many see putting themselves first as selfish which it's not. Don't see it as selfish, see it as regular upkeep. It's like brushing your teeth or taking a shower but for your soul and spirit. You don't see showering or brushing your teeth as selfish right? And when you are filled up you actually have more to give so it's actually selfish to not fill yourself up first! 

So pay attention to your patterns and be sure you aren't blocking yourself by over giving! 


If you need help with this or anything you can get on my schedule for a reading or clearing here:

https://www.psychicmediumreadingsbykristine.com/shop