We all know relationships can be tricky but there are things you can do to give you the best outcome. It's important to know as soon as possible if a relationship isn't right for you to save you both time and pain. The following are ways to help a relationship and ways to see if the relationship isn't right for you.
Communication
Communication is so important! Be clear and communicate your needs. Do not expect them to read your mind. Yes, that may be a fantasy of them reading your mind and doing exactly what you want without telling them but that's a sure way to never get what you want! Sometimes even hints will go unnoticed and cause frustration.
So be clear and intentional with what you want so you can be happy. When you are happy it makes a better relationship for both of you! Don't try to hide things even if you feel it is for a good reason. That never turns out well. Always be clear and upfront with your partner.
2. Set a time to process
Set a time each week to talk about things your partner did that you loved and things you may be hurt, sad or angry about. Speak clearly and just let them know how you feel. Doing this weekly or even at the end of each day can make a big difference in a relationship. Always start with the hard stuff and end it with what you loved or were happy about. End it on a positive note. So many times the other partner has no idea and telling them makes all the difference in the world!
3. Don't leave things unsaid
Never hang up the phone or go to bed angry. Work things out together. You never know when it's your last moments on earth so always try to resolve everything and don't leave it hanging on a bad note.
4. Value yourself
No one will ever be able to value you if you don't value yourself first. This is so important. Don't allow yourself to be treated less than. If you allow it, it will only get worse. If this happens often it's time for a big change or to end things. You teach people how to treat you so the first time it happens be very clear that you will not accept it. If you allow it you are telling that person that it is okay to treat you like that. How can they respect you if you don't respect yourself?
Don't be so afraid of losing someone that you don't stand up for yourself. If you feel that way, it is not the relationship for you. They should respect you and you shouldn't be afraid to demand that respect.
5. Talk about your values
Talk about the things you value early on in a relationship and always make sure you are on the same page or can reach a compromise without giving up yourself. A relationship must have two whole people. If you are giving up yourself for a relationship it can never be a true relationship.
So be sure what's important to you is clear to your partner and vice versa. You should both want each other to be your happiest most fulfilled self. Anyone that doesn't want you to be happy will only deplete you and isn't right for you.
6. Think often of the bigger picture
Think about how you would feel if this was your last moment on earth. Did that little fight really matter? Would you really say that snarky comment you just said? Treat your partner like it's your last day everyday. Appreciate what you have while you have it and don't let the little things bring you off course. We can get so caught up in life sometimes that we lose sight of what really matters. Make a point to always remind yourself of the bigger picture and what really matters.
7. Don't get too comfortable
So many tend to get too comfortable or complacent in a relationship. Don't stop doing the things you did when you were dating. Don't stop doing what attracted you two to each other in the first place. Doing that is giving up in a way. Being complacent can cause issues and can lead to more and more distance between you two.
Don't just give up, always work on things and keep things fresh and interesting. And of course always work on yourself and your personal growth as well. It is always an ongoing journey, we never reach the end. So always keep working on growing both for yourself and your relationship.
8. Don't give up who you are
It's very important to not lose your identity in a relationship. Losing yourself will only damage you and your partner. You both need to be whole beings. Always make time for yourself! If you need to give up who you are for a relationship, it's not the right one for you.
9. Speak up
Holding things in can be one of the most detrimental things in a relationship. You hold it in and it just builds and builds until it causes a huge issue. Holding things in can also cause mental and physical issues so it's important to get it out.
If you say how you feel in a calm way right when you feel it, you can save an explosion and big issue down the road. Your partner should always be okay with you being honest and saying how you feel. If not there is a bigger issue there.
You should always feel like you can be you and say how you feel. If you feel like you can't, look into that and find out why. Yes sometimes it may make you a little nervous but a little nervousness is better than a big issue down the line that could possibly even end the relationship.
10. Don't hold on to past grudges
It's important to fully work through and past things. If you hold onto the past and keep throwing it in your partners face it won't end well. Yes perhaps some trust may need to be rebuilt but you need to decide if you can live with it or not.
If you can't work past the issue it might be time to end the relationship. In order to move forward you will have to decide if you can fully forgive or not. A relationship where you bring up the past in every fight will never go anywhere.
So if you decide to forgive, really forgive and give a clean slate moving forward. Do not keep bringing it up. If you can't forgive, know that and move on. It will save both of you a lot of issues.
If you would like a Relationship Reading to ask some questions to get more clarity on things you can get that here:
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